Spring, Summer, Winter, Fall, Breakup? Is There Really Such A Thing As BREAKUP SEASON?!
Excerpt from “It’s Breakup Season: Lovers Beware” by Kristen Rollins/ www.Lemondrop.com
A study released by Yahoo! Personals found that people are twice as likely to think about calling it quits between December and Valentine’s Day than they are throughout the rest of the year.
According to the survey, the two main causes behind the breakup are not seeing a shared future with the person and a lack of fulfillment from the relationship.
Bad Timing
“People don’t want to ruin their partner’s holidays, so they stick it out through December, and then you have a lot of post-Christmas and New Year’s breakups,” says dating expert and coach David Wygant.
Plus, January’s resolution rush motivates many people to tackle things that aren’t working — like relationships. Add the winter blahs and mounting pressure from a looming Valentine’s Day and you’ve got a perfect storm of split-up motivators.
Click here to read about more breakup season victims — and how to cope if you’re one.
Here is some practical advice to deal with life after a break up, relationship break down or divorce.
1. Make a clean break. As tempting as it can be, if you are still in love with your EX, and they don’t reciprocate the feelings and intensity, then you’re better off making a clean break. This is true every time. Ex lover rarely make good friends after a break up.
2. Delete all telephone numbers, email address and the like that contain your ex’s details. Keeping temptation at bay is vital.
3. Clear out as many personal items as you can. Obviously keeping practical stuff is important, but, if you’re using your ex’s left behind items to remember them, then that’s no good. Clear them out as soon as possible.
4. Treat yourself. Make sure you get used to enjoying yourself without your ex partner. Prove to yourself, your ex and others that you can smile again in spite of the circumstances. A divorce doesn’t mean you can’t laugh a lot.
5. Let your frustrations, anger and bitterness come out. Write down your feeling or get some counselling. Even if it’s just a friend who will listen to you for a while. Blow off steam – it’s natural.
6. Cleanse your current situation by buying new things for the house. New bedding and kitchen utensils are something you use every day. Get new items. Your life is still going to go on so distance yourself from the things you used with your ex. It will work wonders for you.
7. Give yourself time to heal. You don’t need to rush into a new relationship until your ready. Advice given to me as I was going through my divorce was to ‘clear the decks emotionally.’ Superb advice, you don’t need to rebound till its right for you.
8. Eliminate any negative self-talk. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself after a break up. It can help you only for a very short while at the beginning. If you keep talking yourself down then you’ll find it harder to move on when the time is right for you.
9. Take charge of your life again. Make goals. Set yourself challenges. Maybe you always wanted to abseil or jump from a plane. Maybe learning yoga could be right for you. The world is your oyster.
10. Take comfort in the fact that it does get better each day. Say to yourself ‘every day in every way I’m getting better and better and better.’ It’s true and most people who have been divorced will tell you that suddenly one day you realise that the rest of your life can easily be the best of your life.
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